Most small groups have one very needy person; here's some advice on how to handle the situation.
Mark Whelchel
The scene has become familiar: For the fifth week in a row, an interesting study of God's Word ended with your small group huddled around a young man with a mountain of problems. Because your group is filled with caring Christians, they are quick to respond to the needs of this young man and give him their full attention. But you find yourself feeling like your group might be off track.
Sometimes people in your group need more than you're able to give.
Keith Wright
Sometimes a person in your small group needs more help than you can give—professional help from a counselor or pastor. Knowing when and to whom to refer is a humility -based art. It means acknowledging that you can not be all things to all people. Like any art, there are no hard and fast rules. However, some guidelines may be helpful.
When to Consider Referral
The person appears severely disturbed—hallucinating, considering suicide, unable to function.
How to identify and break the bondage of dependent relationships.
Steve Prokopchak
Patricia showed up without warning one evening with three squirming, unkempt and disruptive children. She was not shy about sharing her needs with our cell, and it wasn't long before this disgruntled woman had our attention. Life seemed impossible for her—overdue bills, rowdy children and an overwhelming marriage to a long-distance truck driver.
In time, we realized that Patricia's problem was ...
Difficult people can be confusing and overwhelming to lead, having a framework in place can make the situation easier for you both.
Dr. Jim Jackson
You don't have to be a psychologist, a labor negotiator, a judge, or a marriage counselor to lead a small group but it probably wouldn't hurt. During the last 5 years, in my role as both a small group leader and a participant, I have seen sparks fly, problems fester, and tears flow. And on a few memorable occasions, I have encountered challenging, difficult people who have threatened to bring out ...
The chances are good that either a couple or an individual in your small group will have to wrestle directly with divorce, which means the entire group will deal with it as well. What should a small-group leader do to prepare for the impact of divorce on individuals, couples, and the group? Use ...
With love and God's grace, significant healing can happen.
Pat J. Sikora
When Jim signed up for our Bible study, I didn't know any better than to accept him. Jim was often shunned in our singles group. He was small and scrawny, but had a loud, self-conscious laugh. He was quite bright, but had few social skills. There was really nothing wrong with Jim; he was just "different."
In those days many of us who led groups knew nothing about EGR (extra grace required) people. ...
Is there a way to minister to your group, and still help a difficult person move deeper in their spiritual journey?
Bryan Parris
The words he was greeted with on Sunday morning hit him like a brick, "You've got to do something about Kathy, She's driving us all crazy!" Tony had been leading a small group for about a year, but recently, because of the growth of their church, they have gained a few new members. Kathy was one of those people.
At first, the group was really glad Kathy had joined the group, but now it was becoming ...
Practical advice for ministering to emotionally and spiritually wounded group members.
Rex L. Stancil
I have spent the last 14 years serving as a chaplain or in some form of pastoral ministry in the local church. During that time, I have taught and trained literally hundreds of small-group leaders on the subject of Christian care and counseling. My advice is usually to love people until it hurts, perhaps love them some more, and make sure they are getting help somewhere in addition to the small group. ...
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